| Monday, May 09, 2005 |
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just wanted to say that i am in a weird mood. so whatever i say may not make any sense right now but i dont care. i am really a slacker. i didnt study much for ss and geog and look how horribly i done today. i could not even list out any factors and there was only one bloody reason. i didnt study hard enough. i was watching the television and reading my notes. how are you supposed to study like that? no wonder nothing good got into my brain. i dont know what is happening to me. u may say that nothing gets into your head but without distractions something will get into your head. except me. the ultimate slacker. i just keep watching televison. the darn bloody hell thing. television should not have been even created! my poor mid years results will be all due to me. the poor results will be my fault. my L1R5 will go beyond 20. i will fail ssg. i will fail everything. i have no confidence in anything. but one thing for certain, at least maths d is safe from a failing grade. every other thing is at risk. i dont want to fail but i know i will. and why is this? because i slack. it's all my fault. i was not strong enough. i gave in to temptation. everything is my fault. i did not study long enough. i was distracted. up to now, i cant even recall anything about atmosphere. what is wrong with me? nothing i hope. nothing. i am just plain stupid. everyone is cleverer than me. i am the worst of the lot. and please do not say that you are stupid because although psle is a long long ago thing, all of you got higher marks than me. god, please bless me. help me through this time and lead me to the light. i feel so lost. why am i like this? i know i should change but i cant. i am just so... ok. i will stop being crazy. perhaps after this exam period and after watching kingdom of heaven, maybe i will drop this weird mood of mine. but right now, bear with me. love ya lots, grumpy_ |