| Wednesday, November 09, 2005 |
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this was my first time crying after an exam. really crying. tears just seemed to be never ending. i washed my face and start typing this entry. tears roll down again and again and again. i know what you people will say, if you fail, i will be like f9. i dont know why i am crying. there is like no reason to. english...i dont even study this subject yet im crying like this poor pitiful girl. i came home, told my bro that i did badly. his only words, "im so disappointed in u." told my dad. his reply:"why all your subjects like that one? told you not to play com so much le." they make it sound like i deliberately flunk all my subjects. yes, i want to fail all my subjects right? i shouldnt have did so well for prelims or else i wont have the pressure of performing up to my prelims. my prelims were a fluke. i couldnt have score so well. im so scared. i cant believe my eng. english...the language subject that i had the most faith in. now im afraid of everything. doubting my ability. am i even qualified to take all my other subjectS? im so flunking everything right now. why do tears even fall? they shouldnt. i shouldnt cry. i shouldnt. then why am i? my dad says he is going to cancel our broadband, cos we play too much com. then what do i even do at home? nothing. i cant study. i cant play. im dumb and stupid and fat and ugly. gawd...god help me. please guide me...i still need my strength for my other going to fail anyway subjects. guide me please. give me some strength and motivation. i hope i can get my nice l1r5..or else everyone is going to kill me....and the reason is...i play too much com. i didnt study. i admit that but please pardon me and help me... wenen_ |