| Monday, December 26, 2005 |
|
hey. long time since i ever wrote anything in my blog...i have been so caught up with things at home. sometimes, being at home with just objects for company is pretty sad. well, at least there's my brother. he, who somehow manage to know all my friends and even add them to his msn. but me, i only know ben and weixiang...and a few faces which i like to tease him about. namely lily. oh well. and my jdoramas which have accompanied me through this long meaningless holiday. i mean it's christmas...wait. it's boxing day. it's 1.30am on 26th dec.. nat's and guna's bday is coming as seen from nat's countdown. but im not there on that day. happy birthday to the late dec babies! back to my jdoramas which no one will have any interest in except for me. so u can just skip through this entire part and ignore me. the drama that really made me think this hol was NWP. it just really got me thinking about life and friends. they were such good friends, shuji akira and nobuta. and me? they were enjoying their youth, doing things that no one has done before. which brought me thinking. what have i actually achieved as a person? my results? my jc? but somehow i keep feeling that all this will come crashing down once my real results come back. then i wont know what to do. i dont want that to happen. i tried not thinking about it and somehow it's haunting me. then i took a step back to look at other ppl. they have even more troubles than me. u know who u r. and when i say troubles, boys r not included. i have this person i met on ms. we just did some casual talking. just now i saw that he had this msn space. and i read his various entry. he is in ite. he wants to retake this o lvls for some course in poly. he feels he is a failure and a faggot. then i wonder, am i really that lucky? should i just appreciate life? and the sunday lifestyle also had various stories about people battling cancer. how they r struggling to stay alive. then why dont i try to make something good out of life? somehow, in my sixteen years, i dont feel i have any bloody achievement at all. nothing. im scared of next year. im afraid of the results. im afraid that we may drift apart. im afraid that anyone i love may come to unexpected ends and i dont want that. so for my christmas wish, although it has already pass. may the lord bless everyone to live safe, healthy and happy. and to those who suffered terrible losses and trauma, i hope that you will stand up and live life to the fullest. gawd.....i feel i am talking ...... never mind. just a random entry. happy birthday to guna and nat! thanks for the cookies. may the lord god bless you. wenen |