| Sunday, March 05, 2006 |
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it's really times like this that make me really think. jae. the ultra screwed jae. my class was this ultimate happy family during jae. and it's so argh. i was feeling sad for some people. i just didnt have this oh i am so delighted mood. i understand that our class people are all staying. everyone in our class should be happy but somehow, that is all so wrong. some of us are leaving. from a variety of schools, they came and are going to leave. perhaps it is cos in my class, no one has any other friends leaving but i do. when i talk to these friends, i ache. for them. cos i know they are feeling so horrible, they are trying not to cry and they r just trying to convince themselves appeals work. everything will turn out fine. that's what they always say, dont they. everything will turn out fine. but they will not. or else why are there sucicidal cases? i know nj is in worse shape than hci in terms of turnover rate. nevertheless, jae is still so screwed. first three months is fun. i admit as much. but they should just stopped at entering a college once and not make us suffer through meeting and seperation again. i missed rv. both school compounds. how 2i always sat on the benches on the fourth floor overlooking the reservoir. how old our commonwealth compound was. the cow shed, mr desmond lim. my good friends. how long have we not talk to each other and go out happy. and... somehow, rv seems to be warmer than hci. maybe it's just to do with the infrastructure. we had all the old school compounds. the nice teachers. while in hci, somehow, nothing seems as familar and as close to my heart as rv did. we r all ex students of rv. and i ask myself. why was i so eager to wear the hci u. when i miss rv so much. it's screwed. life's like that and we have to face it. |