| Friday, March 30, 2007 |
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sigh. it's always those japanese movies that get me thinking about this concept of love. the movie i just watched was sweet, not that touching as be with you which i loved a lot. tada, kimi wo aishiteru is perhaps a more mild, a more first love kind of thing. and that's why perhaps they always say first love is one where ull never ever forget. the first time u hold hands, the first time u experience a dozen of different splendid emotions, the times when u know that someone wil lalways be there. funny how the movie started off with a person dan lian and then two people lian ai. technically they didnt started as a couple at all but that does mean they didnt love. so what if they didnt come together, they only remained as "friends" throughout the period they were together, but you could just sense their love for each other. care concern for the other party. that's what love is supposed to be. i think so. indulgence. thinking too much about this love will be bad either but from the movie, they seem to be enjoying it. the times they spend as a couple without anyone there to interfere to see...their heavenly forest. gah. maybe the scenery did help in their relationship. and new york was damn pretty when he went there. it does help that the male lead and the female lead look so good together and separately. what u experience and love will never be taken away unless you take it away yourself, i guess. loving. what is love? different people will understand it differently. for me, i... yeah. why bother telling out when im supposed to know already and show it in my own unique way. how we judge and accpet and cherish differently. sigh. im so inspired to take loads of photos right now but i guess certain memories can never be forgotten. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... she was always lying to me. and she continued to lie to me because she wanted to be alive in my heart forever. she didnt need to lie as she was always there. when you were kissing me, did you feel any feelings of love....? i did. and i thought the world had only you and nothing else. it's a bittersweet story but i guess makoto as much as he tries, will always love shizuru even though she's... im a fool. Labels: love |
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disclaimer: it will waste ur time. incessant whining. im watching a show that i have always wanted to watch since last year, "tada, kimi wo aishiteru." supposedly meaning, right now, im loving you. ouch. what is going to be a less bimbotic entry is going to be ruined. ah. the wound on my back still hurts. i checked it out. it really looks like someone caned me at the back. and it runs along my backbone. >.< gah. the skin... sigh. someone should just look out for me 24/7 since im such a kultz. i want my fairy godmother now! haha. okay. enough of whining. and on to my show. i have not even reached half of the show and i got disturbed by joanne. but it's okay. i can pause the show. the part when i watched is till is the girl getting angry with the guy for bringing another girl to their place where it supposedly belonged to the two of them. just the two of them. i guess that what happens why different people view their own little space differently. some share this joy of theirs while others keep it secret, taking their own sweet pleasure from it. but ultimately, everyone still keeps it private. the stuff that happens between two among themselves. because, it's for the two of them or even between friends. certain stuff must be kept among themselves. the circle of trust or this bond. some things can only be kept among certain people. how. sigh. the pain in my back is distracting me from what i want to type. seriously. should apply some cream on it or something. why am i so....clumsy? gah. and just for the fun of it. cant think of a clever way to put it. forget it. pretend i never said it. ultimate crapping entry. right now. i just want to finish my movie. it's a beautiful love story. will blog after i finish watching it. maybe ill think better. Labels: random |
| Thursday, March 29, 2007 |
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totally sappy post. i guess. in life. u wont get what you always want. even if u dont, cherish what u get. am i maturing? or just growing older? more tired? or just seeing too much innocence in this world for these few days Labels: mellow |
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what do you think about urself? the best or the worst in u. i can name my bad points offhand just like that easily. or else, someitmes, i can be really ego and name all the supposedly good stuff i think that i am. then people would just go, "Bu yao lian". Bu yao lian, hao ma? wo bu zhi dao. how will i be portrayed to people i know? this girl who has totally no image cos she's damn chor lor. shooting her mouth off, sitting in such an unladylike position, very slack and all. see, all the bad points without even thinking. but oh well. i cant go on life forever thinking im this girl. at least people love me. my dad despite me not doing my work and he have to act like this ghost to haunt me off the com. my ma despite me not really helping with the housework, always telling her last minute about me not coming home for dinner. my brother despite me forgetting everything about my sec3 maths and literally shouting and sort of laughing at him when he doesnt know how to do. my aunt despite me always sleeping on her bed and keeping her awake with my awful alarm clock system since i can sleep through my alarms and she cant. the angels despite me sometimes pang sehing them, being a nuisance of myself like the stupid duck thing today and i still love you guys! the rest of the gang like minghao, zhengjie just for being there to keep company and all even if im like super tired and dead that all u can is to cheer me up. 7 hand poker! haha. to my darling rv friends, jiemin, nat, seewah etc, just for being there to hear me talk about my problems esp during a particular period of time and u guys came to support me even though u dont really like chinese drama and all. love and miss you guys. huangcheng ppl, actually like basically all huangcheng ppl, xinyu, yunsong, isaac, qiuju, vincent, sylvia etc for being part of my life and just....enjoying the process. to him. he's having a super inflated ego right now. but at least that makes him confident and that all it matters isnt it? being happy. =) running makes one high. Labels: mellow |
| Monday, March 26, 2007 |
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green. red. christmas colours. did the season of love and celebration came earlier? haha. the elves must be working extremely hard right now!! to get out more toys, more ice cream to benefit the little girls and boys out there. poor elves. they must be tired out. well, stay strong, dont die. duh. elves are magical, they wont die of sth like exhaustion.. nevertheless, appreciate and cherish. Labels: happyness |
| Sunday, March 25, 2007 |
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gah. feeling fat. wait. make them fat. gah. i so want to ermx...jump down the building or sth...right now. gah. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.... fat thighs.. flab fat definitely not fab. can i just jump down and die? suqping, please, you can do the honours... gah. =( Labels: fat |
| Saturday, March 24, 2007 |
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often, i look around and it amazes me to find that i have nothing to do. nothing fulfilling to do. we're living in this beautiful place called the earth and we're like supposedly the only living beings in the universe. so why are we not doing something? lagging around. it's an art. the art of lagging around. do u seriously think people can use up their time if they do not lag around? or perhaps it's like a disease. every single person wants to lag around. lag around is good. why not? u recharge. but. are u sure u're recharging or u're just tiring urself out even more? i believe it's the latter. it's always the latter. yet somehow the enjoyment that comes out from just random chatting on the net seems to outweigh the tiredness i felt later. actually i did regret one such incident when i chatted till 1 plus? for the next few days, i had a major exam. i didnt have enough time to study. then i stop. when did i turn into a mugger? i care for my studies. everyone does. but somehow, worrying about ur studying time just doesnt seem right. and there's a contradiction. if u dont have studying time, what about ur studies? heck. life's more important than studies? yes, u're a student, u should care about ur full time job scope, studying. but seriously we're the only living planet, who cares???!!!! yar right. if only everyone thinks that way, the world would be a much happier place. *sighs. actually the world is a happier place for me le. im feeling a lot of joy right now. lala~~~ friends, family, him. im missing all my cute little rv friends and my darling huangcheng people, fellow yellow citizens! wait. (and my angel too! good luck in ns...) cute little, i sound like a paedophile! acutally, maybe i am. i tend to look out for adorable little boys! ah. if only i was a more responsible 17 year old, ill steal them and adopt them. haha. as if. dreams and fantasy are fun in that way... sigh. this entry is beginning to sound bimbotic already. it is bimbotic anyway. cant type anything serious if i dont think about anything serious. but why should i think anyway? the happiness should be continued. afterall, im smiling. that is all it matters, isnt it? the feeling of being contented with what u have. 幸福 so heck. =) Labels: happyness |
| Monday, March 12, 2007 |
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写华文对我来说一点也不容易。汉语拼音烂是小学教出来的。 但为何我会喜欢说华语？ 黄城夜韵。 结束了。心中有种莫名的伤心感动。一直辛苦，一直劳累，真的结束了吗？我不要。我要每天都看到我可爱的黄城人。一群为了朋友，凭着热诚，而。。。 就在这，好想哭。好想回到过去。希望这一刻会停留，但它不会。时间还是照走。今年黄城夜韵也成了回忆。 黄城。有我的家庭，朋友，让我感到温馨爱心的地方。谁顾虑别人怎么看我们？我们自己怎么看自己就够了。 sigh. im missing our bump in times. the times that 29 people squeezing into a deluxe room at swissotel. the stench of the shoes. how a certain someone sleeps around. how we crashed and died on the first day of performance. how we continue to push on. how we will miss each other a lot even though we'll see each other in school. how the sound tracks on my com will lose its purpose. how i wont get to see my darling juniors everyday. how i wont get to see my cute little di di acting cute everyday with his white specs. how i wont get to see those actors in bo li xie acting. how i wont go home almost every night together with yunsong. how xinyu remains happy and hyper even though she's tired and stressed. how sylvia can continue on despite the shit she have got. i love u!! how certain people can be so insensitive. how.... who cares that im having break down of language expression? 我好想这一切。我可以从来一次吗？ 一次黄城。一世黄城。 Labels: yellowcity |
| Tuesday, March 06, 2007 |
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sigh. atmosphere is different. i dont know. maybe everyone is feeling the pressure as the date of the bump in draws near. maybe it's the horrible jae results that kicks 7 pointers out of our school. just maybe. maybe. maybe the moon will still be up when the sun rises up tomorrow. Labels: yellowcity |
| Sunday, March 04, 2007 |
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i feel sweet today. i like being pampered being loved. and i like the beach, the wind and the sea. i like holding hands. maybe i do like myself. wait. i do. no self doubts allowed. |
| Friday, March 02, 2007 |
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im a selfish person. i tend to care for myself first before sparing a thought for others. im selfish. i ought to get rid of such a mentality. and i realise. i dont know how to weigh the needs of people. like i said, i only care about myself. when it's time to care for other people, it just always seem too late. so beyond reach. i cant go past this brick wall. and im at a total loss. i then wish i was there. but i cant already. because of that selfish intention that held me back just now. im selfish. why am i so selfish? im selfish. is that what makes people so unhappy about? im selfish. people cant forgive me for that. im selfish. the things i do people cant forget. im selfish. have i changed to be even more self centered? im selfish. that's why i..... sometimes i wonder why do people even like me... im selfish. i care only for myself. can i just go sell fishes? maybe the fishes will like me better... Labels: fall |