| Thursday, June 28, 2007 |
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im really zi tao ku chi. the skin of my hands. both hands. knuckles. flesh. they're all red. red. and hurting. and it's my fault. because.. im not strong enough. i didnt study enough. and now they're hurting. and im hurting. and there's still biology tmr. what the hell am i doing? Labels: fall |
| Monday, June 25, 2007 |
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held back. by. what? holding on. to. what? hanging in. for. what? blocks? hah. myself. and... Labels: fall |
| Friday, June 22, 2007 |
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u know the little thing that was left in pandora's box? hope? where is it? why cant i see it for this blocks? oh well, i was never magical to begin with. what am i doing? Labels: fall |
| Saturday, June 16, 2007 |
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today was totally unexpected but i loved it. i smiled as i walk home, remembering. i remembered the meaning of old friends. friends who never see each other for a long time yet when they come together it seems we have always been together. two of us. bbqing. fun. =) haha. trying to get the fire going. but most of all, i recall the marshmallows. not because it's sweet and melting and i'll get tired of it. the fading embers of the charcoal coupled with roasting of marshmallows and a whole lot of talking. that's what life should always be. comfort and happiness. yeah, even though our legs were tired and all.... im glad i did the bbq. and .... yeah. i miss those days. innocence. sincerity. no false fronts. youth. Labels: mellow |
| Sunday, June 10, 2007 |
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im trying to concentrate. i really am. attemtping to sit down at my table, look at the notes. somehow, enzymes dont appeal to me. nothing does. tried my hand at maths. the question seemed so familiar. dug out my worksheets and all and still, behold, i cant do the bloody damn question. and ants. ants. idiotic pesky ants. crawling on the wall from outside. why do u even want to come approach me??!!! my room. i like lambs not ants. so ants, scram! i think im going crazy. i think im becoming antisocial too. daoing everyone. regarding my phone as a vile piece of object. ditto msn. trying to reply the most basic. which reminds me, i cant sms yanling, i dont have her number. ocean 13. me. what i want to do. questions. no answers. and what faces me is a bunch of "i dont know how to do" complex numbers questions and super unappealing enzymes notes. i cant go beyond. this. cant step it. and i end up reading about people's lives. blogs. cos they all seem so much more interesting. shall i just jump into middle earth and become an elf. with sharp pointy ears. i certainly dont mind blonde hair. living in rivendell. hah. i wish. i wish i was given more time. i wish i knew what i wanted to do. i wish i could be sure. and uncertainty keeps staring back. i know. enzymes is not exactly the most fascinating thing on earth. that are more. maybe i should just go be an ostrich. sticking my head on the earth when im frightened. maybe. ill excel in that. im... oh heck. no one cares. no one ever do. yes they do. they care. but do i? right now. yes and no. but seriously. i wish for a dark and stormy sky right now. so rain will pour. yes. that's it. i want rain. Labels: fall |